Welcome to the twenty-first blog post in the series “Monthly Mindset Shift”! As the name indicates, this series has one new post per month and will continue for the next several months. Each post in the series details a positive mindset shift we can make surrounding a feeling or experience that generally has a negative connotation. (Spoiler alert: For this post, that experience is insecurity!) These shifts aren’t designed to erase all of our difficult/unwanted emotions around the topic at hand. Rather, they simply serve to improve our general outlook on the matter, which can, in turn, improve our actions and our outcomes. They’re all the more proof that a healthier, more constructive mindset can change the game!
Ah, insecurities. We all have them, even the most confident people you know. In fact, what sets those confident people apart isn’t that they lack insecurities; it’s that they know how not to let their insecurities take over. There are many possible routes they may take to reach this point, but here, I’m going to share one mindset shift with you that might just make the difference for you…
The mindset shift…
…If someone you love and/or admire were going through your insecurity, would you think any less of them? Even if you’re tempted to say yes, due to your own relationship with that insecurity, I’m going to bet you wouldn’t! That’s because your love and admiration for them outweighs something so minuscule in comparison. If you can make that assessment for them, why not for yourself? After all, the goal should be to love and admire YOURSELF so much that your insecurities can’t derail that.
This concept in action…
For instance, say that your insecurity is that you haven’t figured out a career for yourself yet. That’s not a reflection of a deficit; it simply reflects where you are right now. If your role model were in the same predicament, you’d probably admire their patience and strength in continuing their quest for the right career. You’d probably see it as a matter of temporary circumstances that don’t define them. See how easy it is to reframe things when it’s someone else’s struggle?
More food for thought…
Another thing to consider in the same vein is the way you speak about yourself regarding your insecurities. Are you beating yourself up over them? Saying not such nice things about yourself? Well, guess what? The things you’re saying about yourself regarding this insecurity, you’re also saying about everyone in the same boat as you. To return to the example of career uncertainty, say you’re harshly criticizing yourself for it. In turn, you’re indirectly harshly criticizing EVERYONE who’s going through career uncertainty. That may even include people you love and/or admire, whether you know this about them or not. Would you still be speaking about yourself this way if those people could hear you?
None of this is to invalidate, or shame you for, your feelings. They’re valid, even if you are being too hard on yourself. Rather, it’s to snap you out of the negative self-talk by redirecting your focus to the bigger picture. When you zoom out and think of all the other “you”s out there going through the same thing you are, not only should this help you feel less alone, but it should help you feel more compassionate toward yourself. Sometimes it’s easier to practice self-compassion when you realize that your treatment of yourself can affect more than just you. Give yourself the grace that you’d give others without hesitation.
Also, this mindset shift isn’t about ridding yourself of your insecurities overnight. Some insecurities take longer than others to work through. At the least, though, hopefully it prompts you to slow down and reassess how you’ve been treating yourself as a result. Any given insecurity of yours only makes up a small part of your life. It may feel ginormous right now, but that’s probably in large part because it’s been receiving so much of your attention. Ultimately, where our attention goes is what grows. If you see the people in your same boat as so much more than *insert your insecurity here*, you may as well extend that courtesy to yourself.
The bottom line…
You might not be insecurity-free after reading this post (if you are, that’s a miracle), but may you begin rising above those that have been weighing you down. You’re so much more than your insecurities, just like you know to be true about those around you!
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