Welcome to the twentieth blog post in the series “Monthly Mindset Shift”! As the name indicates, this series has one new post per month and will continue for the next several months. Each post in the series details a positive mindset shift we can make surrounding a feeling or experience that generally has a negative connotation. (Spoiler alert: For this post, that experience is frustration!) These shifts aren’t designed to erase all of our difficult/unwanted emotions around the topic at hand. Rather, they simply serve to improve our general outlook on the matter, which can, in turn, improve our actions and our outcomes. They’re all the more proof that a healthier, more constructive mindset can change the game!
Part of being human is dealing with various sources of frustration in our day-to-day lives. Some things only frustrate us in small ways for the short term, while others are just constantly nagging at us. As for the latter category, it can be frustrating to feel that much frustration—how ironic! But what if there’s a better way to channel that energy?
The mindset shift…
What if we use our frustrations as fuel to take constructive action and make positive changes? For instance, if you’ve been frustrated by the fact that you don’t make as much money as you’d like to be, use that as fuel to find ways to increase your income. Take this as an opportunity to get creative with how you can go about making more money. Maybe you’ve already asked your boss for a raise, to which they declined your request. Consider different ways you can supplement your income—selling a product or service, having a flexible side gig, etc.—and/or consider hunting for new jobs.
All of this might sound obvious, and maybe part of your frustration comes from the fact that you’ve tried taking lots of different actions without any luck. That’s a completely valid reason for your frustration to persist. However, the more you throw at the wall, the more likely it is that something will stick! Many of the greatest success stories came from people who made hundreds, if not thousands, of attempts at something. Sometimes we have to power through our frustration, even when it’s most difficult. Otherwise, we’re bound to stay stuck in it for much longer than we’d like to be.
When you’re frustrated about something, see it as a nudge to do something about it. That “something” can vary from one situation to the next, and there can be more than one right “something” for each situation. The point is, let your frustration prompt you to act on whatever is within your control! Of course, as per one of my very first blog posts, Which Philosophy Speaks the Truth?, understanding what is vs. is not in your control is vital. Frustration will only increase when you unsuccessfully try to control something that you simply can’t. However, the more you focus on what you can control, the better you’re likely to feel. Even if it takes time to make your desired result happen, at least you can say you’re doing what you can to make it happen!
More food for thought…
If your frustration is coming solely from something outside of your control, that’s when the goal becomes acceptance. As per the blog post referenced above, what’s meant to be will be. Having that faith may not make every last ounce of your frustration go away. What it should do, though, is bring you a sense of peace. Remind yourself, “this is not on me to control”. For instance, say that you didn’t get the job that you really wanted. The fact that you went for it, and it just didn’t pan out, should tell you that it just wasn’t the right fit. What you imagined the job to be like may not have been the reality, or even close to it. Sometimes surrendering your control in situations like this is the most freeing thing you could ever do for yourself!
Even in those situations you can’t control, you can still take action on related variables that you can control. In the job example, you can continue searching for and applying to jobs that sound appealing to you. You can evaluate ways to strengthen your resumé, interviewing skills, or anything else that will attract the right job for you. This phenomenon goes to show that we’re never powerless. There are always constructive ways to feel better and take some power back.
The bottom line…
May your frustration be your guide to acting on what you can and aiming to gain peace around the rest!
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