If you’re going through a challenging time right now, I’m here for you with some much-needed “WOW” in the form of powerful mindsets to adopt. Hard times often make us lose sight of important truths. We might hear these truths from others, but it’s not until we fully digest them that they actually make an impact. We have to believe them to our core in order to feel better and restore our sense of hope. As you read these 5 critical mindsets, give them the time and attention they need to work their magic.
Of course, the severity of the hardship will influence how quickly and effectively they help you. The key is to be in tune with yourself and meet yourself where you’re at. These mindsets aren’t meant to be forced upon you when you’re feeling your lowest. Rather, they’re meant to uplift you when you could benefit from it most. Whenever that time comes, this post is for you!
1- Everything happens for a reason.
I always emphasize the value of finding purpose behind various events in our lives, for good reason. If we feel as though our toughest times are meaningless, we’re a lot more likely to harbor resentment toward them. On the other hand, if we know deep down that they have great meaning, that can help us make peace with them. That’s not to say we have to love (or even like) everything that happens in our lives. We’d be inhuman if we did! It just means we understand that even the hard times breed positive takeaways. They can serve to teach us lessons, inspire growth within us, challenge us to channel our best qualities, strengthen our mindsets, etc. Sometimes it’s just a matter of seeing beyond the hurt, frustration, sadness, anger, etc. to see these valuable gifts.
A quote that I love by philosopher Søren Kierkegaard is, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” In other words, the reasoning behind a given life event isn’t always clear as it’s happening. It can take years-later events to shine light on that reasoning. For instance, you might have to experience the wrong relationships to fully appreciate the right one. While dealing with the tumultuousness of those wrong relationships, you might wonder why you have to go through them. It may not be until you meet the right one for you that it all starts to make sense.
For this sentiment to resonate with you, it certainly helps to have a belief in a higher power, whether God, the universe, etc. Sometimes all it takes is a little trust in something bigger than yourself.
2- What’s meant to be will be, and what isn’t meant to be won’t be.
We often apply this sentiment to romantic relationships. If it doesn’t work out with the person you wanted it to work out with, it just wasn’t meant to. The relationship that is meant for you, though, will make you understand why the previous one wasn’t. But this concept doesn’t stop at romance.
If you don’t get the job you wanted, you just weren’t meant to work that job. Rest assured that the job you are meant to work can’t miss you. If you don’t get invited to a party you wanted to go to, you just weren’t meant to be there. There will be future parties where your presence is not only requested but celebrated when you’re there. If you’re going through a stagnant period in your life right now where no exciting life changes are happening, channel your patience. This just isn’t meant to be your time for those changes, but the right time will come. If something isn’t integrating well into your life, that can mean it’s either not meant to be or not meant to be right now.
When you wholeheartedly embrace this mindset, you might find that you no longer even want the things you thought you did. That’s because you only want what’s meant for you, and you only want it when it’s meant for you. By making this shift, you’re that much closer to attracting everything you want! Once again, having some level of faith in a higher power can solidify this for you.
3- You’re much less alone than you can even imagine.
Your situation might feel very niche to the point that you wonder if anyone else could possibly relate. However, there are probably far more people with similar experiences out there than you think. All it may take is an online search to find discussion boards, social media content, podcasts, books, etc. that speak to at least some elements of your experience. Sometimes reading/hearing these accounts of people in a similar boat as you can make all the difference in how you feel. Even if you never interact with these people, they can support you indirectly by providing useful insight and relatability.
As you acquire more insight of your own, you may even wish to share it yourself to help others. We can’t always prevent our mistakes, but sometimes we can use them to help prevent others from making the same ones. If that’s what comes out of your experience, that’s pretty powerful!
4- Just about everything in life is temporary.
As stuck as we may feel in an undesirable position in life at a given time, the tides are bound to change, not just regarding our circumstances but also our mindsets around the circumstances. Sometimes it takes being in an unideal situation for an extended time to finally develop a healthier outlook on it. This internal shift is most likely when external circumstances will begin shifting for the better.
Also, even if the circumstances you’re upset about aren’t temporary, know that the way you’re feeling (or at least the degree to which you’re feeling it) is temporary. Say you’re going through a hard breakup with someone you wish it could work out with, but it can’t. The intensity of your upset is surely much greater than it will be in months or years, as time is one of our greatest healers. As hard as it may be to imagine, there will come a time when you get the clarity, peace, and happiness you thought you’d never get, even if it comes in a different form or at a different timeline than you expected. Know that things can only stay exactly as they are for so long, and better days are ahead.
5- Your perception shapes your reality.
My post Monthly Mindset Shift: The Power of Perception delves into this concept in greater depth, so I recommend checking it out if you haven’t yet. As per #4, an improved outlook on a situation can be the thing that begins improving the situation itself. It all comes down to the power of our mindsets. It can be incredibly hard to see a challenging time through a constructive lens. You’re entitled to feel all your feelings before (and even while) working toward making that shift. Once you are able to make it, though, the rest should slowly but surely start to follow suit.
To give an example of the power of perception, if you view a failure or rejection of yours as a big deal, it’ll be a big deal. This outlook will most likely halt you from putting yourself out there in that way again. When you adjust your perception to see it as no big deal, you can carry on with your life as if it were just a small bump in the road. In reality, that’s all it was! (Read my post Monthly Mindset Shift: How to Handle Failure with Confidence for more on this specific topic…)
None of this is to say that adjusting your mindset is a cure-all, as it certainly can’t “fix” everything. However, it can create a domino effect. Your mindsets around your challenges directly affect your actions in response to them, and in turn, their outcomes. That’s no small feat!
The bottom line…
My hope is that even one of these mindsets resonated with you enough to start feeling better. Again, it may take time for them to fully sink in and create positive change, especially if you’re still in the thick of what you’re going through. But if you notice even a 1% difference in your mood/outlook, that’s an amazing start! Hang in there, and give yourself grace. Continue reminding yourself of these 5 truths when you need them, especially those that speak to you the most.