At our cores, we as humans tend to want a lot of the same things in life. What sets us apart is how we each define those same things. They each carry individualized meanings from person to person, hence why we each have different specific goals, desires, priorities, etc.
Why is this important? Well, for starters, it demonstrates why it’s easy to relate to one another on the surface but rarer to connect on a deeper level. For instance, in dating, you might find that you have a lot of good first and second dates, because you have some things in common right off the bat. However, as you progress and peel back the layers, there are fewer people you have enough true compatibility with to go the distance.
Another reason why it’s important is for the sake of defining what these things mean to us. In order to live our best lives, we should have an understanding of what our best lives look like, across the board—not just on a generic level but with your own personal touch. Today, we’re exploring some of the words describing values that are widely desirable to us but have different meanings for each of us. This is certainly not an exhaustive list, but you’ll get the gist (rhyme unintended)!
1- Success
Success is an incredibly relative and subjective term, leaving room for countless interpretations. To some, success can be measured by the dollar amount that they make. Other metrics can include their ability to work for themselves, their fulfillment in their work, their competency at their job, the positive impact they make through their work, positive feedback from the people they work for, their benefits / time off, the list goes on. Some people may think of other parts of life aside from work when they think of success. They may think of success in their personal lives and their non-work-related goals. None of these metrics are right or wrong; they’re just different!
In order to set goals that will bring us a sense of success, we have to define success for ourselves. In doing so, it can be easy to play the comparison game and/or let other people’s definitions of success influence our own. That makes it all the more important to be intentional about remaining true to your own definition of success. You can do this by reflecting on times in your life you’ve felt the most successful, as well as what versions of success inspire you the most. This is all about listening to your soul’s calling rather than coming from a place of ego or competition. As you go through life, your perception of what constitutes success can change, and that’s okay! As long as you stay true to yourself in setting and pursuing your goals, you will succeed!
2- Health
Similarly to success, health is also relative and can be defined in countless ways. Examples of metrics that different people may use to define health include their vitals, their weight, their energy levels, how they feel in their bodies, their eating habits, their exercise routines, their mental wellbeing, etc. Health takes numerous forms—physical, mental, emotional, etc.
Often times, health can get wrapped up in vanity. As I’ve always said, there’s nothing wrong with aiming to love the way you look. However, the quest to fit a certain mold can become unhealthy, thereby defeating the goal of health.
While there’s no one right definition of health (hence why it’s on this list), the key is to honor your health in its entirety. For instance, a diet plan that makes you miserable and actually heightens your insecurities may not be working the way you intended for it to work. Sometimes it simply comes down to trial and error. If it feels right for you, and it promotes all facets of your health, mission accomplished!
3- Beauty
As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As per the last point, it’s more than okay to care how you look. Where it can get tricky, though, is when you try to fit various beauty standards other than your own. The reality is, everyone has a different “type” that they find most attractive, both romantically and admiringly (i.e. “girl crushes” and “man crushes”). Different people’s eyes gravitate to different eye colors, hair colors, skin colors, facial features, body types, etc. Even if you don’t see yourself as “conventionally attractive”, you’d be surprised how many people beg to differ!
There are certain things about a person’s appearance that are either impossible or very difficult to change. If there’s something about your appearance you’d like to change, and can do so fairly easily, go for it! If you can’t change it, or the process to change it is more work and/or money than it’s worth to you (or more than you can afford right now), the goal can be to work with what you have. We have more power to enhance our features than we often realize. It can be through makeup, hairstyles / hair colors, or even the clothes we wear! Experimenting with these things can give us a lot of insight into what suits us best. Also, of course we want to look good for romantic prospects or partners. Chances are, though, you’ll be the most attractive to others when you find yourself attractive. So, when you make your own self-perception the focus, the rest will follow!
4- Happiness
Each of us has different things that make us happy, which can encompass all areas of life. In fact, the song “Happiness Is” by Ray Conniff says it best! “Happiness is different things to different people, that’s what happiness is.” A job, career path, relationship, friendship, lifestyle, place to live, hobby, etc. can make someone happy for any number of reasons. It’s just a matter of figuring out what that looks like for you. Again, it can be easy to look at someone else’s definition of happiness and second-guess your own. However, your happiness deserves to be preserved, which means standing firm in what you know makes you happy. Happiness is so personal that there’s no benefit that can come from comparing yours to anyone else’s. Just as is true for success, it all comes down to listening to your soul’s calling.
The bottom line…
Basically, this blog post is just one big reminder not to play the comparison game or question your own needs! Your definitions of these terms don’t have to make sense to other people. They just have to make sense to you. If you have strong relationships in your life, chances are, those people will understand and support your choices. When it comes to the people who are undeniably right for you, you won’t have to over-explain yourself. You’ll speak the same language as each other, at least when it comes to what’s most important to you both. On that note, it can be fun to write out your own definitions of each of these terms, as if you’re adding them to your own personal dictionary! Let this be a fun getting-to-know-yourself activity!
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