If you’ve been toying with a decision for what feels like too long, this blog post is for you. Life hands us a plethora of decisions to make and leads us toward endless crossroads. I have a whole post about decision fatigue (Decision Fatigue: How to Overcome It), so I highly suggest checking that out as well! But for this post, we’re talking about a specific question to reflect on amid uncertainty around what to do. Particularly, this question is best for when you’re unsure of whether you should or shouldn’t do something. The simple question is…
…is this constructive? In other words, are the most highly anticipated outcomes of taking this action constructive? Is it likely that taking this action will result in some form of positive change, even if it’s small?
If the answer is yes, chances are, it’s worth going for! If the answer is no, it’s probably worth considering alternative routes. Of course, this question may be hard to answer definitively. After all, you can’t always confidently or accurately predict the impacts of your actions. You can make educated assessments with the true belief and hope that they’re correct. Sometimes that’s good enough. If you’re coming at an action from all the right places (i.e. a genuine desire to do something positive, careful consideration, that sort of thing), it’s clearly not a decision you’re making lightly. Your strong suspicion that it will result in a constructive outcome should help you pull the trigger.
This concept in action…
A broad example of this concept that comes to mind is how you respond when someone you care about does something that hurts you. Perhaps an action you may want to consider is having an honest, heart-to-heart conversation with them about it. No matter which way you slice it, the outcome should be constructive. Either they’ll apologize sincerely and make it a point to act differently in the future, because they genuinely didn’t mean to hurt you, or they won’t do those things, which will give you the clarity you needed to move forward from that relationship. While the second outcome may not be ideal, it’s just about as constructive as you could hope for in lieu of the first outcome.
Alternatively, there are other possible responses to this person’s behavior that may be tempting but aren’t necessarily constructive. For example, staying silent about it to “preserve the peace” will likely only make your resentment build until it explodes. Speaking of which, exploding on them, while tempting, probably won’t result in any progress either. The validity and clarity of your points likely won’t shine through in the same way that they would in the space of a measured, rational conversation.
The bottom line…
With this general hypothetical in mind, consider what you hope to make happen by taking a certain action. Consider how likely it is that you’ll make that outcome happen through this action, and that even if you don’t, you’ll make a differently valuable outcome happen. These considerations help prevent us from making impulsive moves or staying put in our comfort zones. The reality is, neither of those routes tend to take us to where we want to be. Thoughtful, intentional, brave actions? Those take us further than we can imagine!
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