Happy New Year!! Hope you’re having a great start to 2025! Today’s post is all about a topic that will help us grow this year—self-discovery. As we go through life, we’re always collecting new information about ourselves. What we sometimes neglect to recognize, though, is how important this information can be for improving our lives across the board. Think of it this way, someone who continuously educates themself about their field of work will naturally become progressively better at their job as a result, right? Similarly to that, continuously learning about ourselves will naturally make us more well-equipped to do quite possibly the most important job we’ve ever been given—to live our best, most fulfilling lives! Here are 5 topics for self-discovery to reflect on, why they matter, and how to identify them if you’re having trouble doing so.
1- How your past has shaped who you are today
Self-discovery can run deep, traveling all the way back to the beginning of your story. Maybe there are things about yourself that you wish to change or work on. The best way to start is by figuring out when and how they even originated. You’re much more likely to give yourself grace AND successfully self-improve in the area at hand if you have that understanding. You can also reflect on how your past experiences strengthened and bettered you. While of course they’re not solely responsible for that growth (you did your part), it can be helpful for you to understand their value. You’ll no longer see them as meaningless, but actually necessary and transformative.
The most self-explanatory way to tap into this part of self-discovery is to reflect on your past. For each part of yourself that you examine (whether a strength or an area for improvement), ask yourself, “what past experience(s) of mine may have contributed to this?” It’s not always easy to look backward, and it’s best to only do so when you’re in the right headspace for it. You don’t have to wait until you’re completely emotionless about it, but I’d wait until you’re not heavily clouded by emotion. This way, your reflection brings clarity rather than more confusion. While it’s not healthy to dwell on the past, it can be healthy to occasionally check in on it from an analytical standpoint. You never know what it might teach you about yourself or how it can help you grow!
2- Your standards in relationships of all kinds
When going through the motions in any given relationship, you might not stop to ask yourself, “does this relationship feel right for me?”. As a result, you may overstay in the wrong relationship, because your feelings aren’t getting the attention they need. However, when you make it a point to figure out what matters most to you (such as how you want to be treated) and set your standards accordingly, that should prompt you to move through your relationships with a little more intention. You’re not going to settle for something you don’t want. You’re going to know what you want and only stay in relationships that match that.
If you’re not very clear on what your standards are, one of the best ways to identify them is to identify how past relationships have made you feel and why. Any given relationship from your past may’ve made you feel good in some ways and not so good in others. Now’s the time to identify what made you feel good, what didn’t, and why. Don’t be afraid to set your standards for your relationships high, as long as your standards for yourself are also high. Lean into the qualities within yourself that align with the types of people you want to attract. This will bring you that much closer to attracting them!
3- Your goals in various areas of life
In keeping with the theme of intentionality, when you’re not exactly sure why you’re doing what you’re doing, you may feel disconnected from your path. Contrarily, setting thoughtful goals can allow you to align your everyday actions with what you truly want in life. You might have already done this recently, in the form of New Year’s resolutions. These goals can be for your career, love/dating life, social life, family life, personal development, health, fitness, the list goes on. It’s all about choosing goals that are meaningful to you and that you genuinely want to achieve.
In order to do this, ask yourself what versions of success deeply resonate with and inspire you. Though we should make it a point not to get hung up on what other people are doing, there may be people whose paths speak to you. In that case, it can’t hurt to take any insight you’ve gained from them and implement it for yourself in a tailor-made-for-you way. As long as your goals come from a place of feeling compelled and inspired rather than pressured or obligated, that’s what matters!
4- Your passions
Knowing what lights you up is a huge part of self-discovery that greatly contributes to living a fulfilling life. Whether you choose to pursue your passions professionally, recreationally, otherwise, or several of these ways, you should aim to fill your time with them as much as possible. It won’t only make you a happier person, but the energy you channel into your passions has the power to result in something amazing, whatever that may be.
If you’ve struggled to identify your greatest passions, think about the things you’ve done throughout your life voluntarily because you enjoyed doing them so much. These things can date all the way back to your childhood and adolescent years, as these tend to be the years when we have the most hobbies and interests. Also, explore things that evoke curiosity in you. It could be topics you want to learn more about, skills you want to attain, activities you want to try, or anything in between. You never know when your latest exploration will become your new favorite thing. Whether you have one primary passion or several passions of about equal importance to you, they deserve your time and energy!
5- Your values
When making big life decisions, your values tend to be a key part of the decision-making process. Though you probably have a general idea of what’s most important to you, you may not have taken time to get specific about it. For instance, you might know that kindness is a value of yours, but since that’s fairly broad, there’s room to dig deeper. Some examples of this can include (but are certainly not limited to) doing acts of service, showing compassion, being a positive force in the lives of those around you, or boosting other people’s confidence.
There are several ways you can get in touch with your specific values. Ask yourself what personality-based compliments you receive the most often—as well as what you personally love and admire about yourself—as these things can give insight into your best traits. Ask yourself what deciding factors have led you to make your best decisions, as these can help you determine what should be at the forefront of similar future decisions. Lastly, ask yourself what type of person you want to be and what values you can embody more wholeheartedly (as well as how you can embody them) to become that person. The answers to all of these questions put together should paint the full picture.
The bottom line…
In addition to reflecting on these five things, you can take the extra step to journal about them (as I so often suggest)! That way, you can look back on them whenever you need to, whether it be for a reminder or a reevaluation. After all, as you evolve, these things can evolve as well.
Also, self-discovery isn’t confined to what’s on this list. There are plenty of other things you can reflect on as well—these are just some examples to get you started. If they inspire more topics for reflection, all the better!
Engaging in self-discovery isn’t only for the sake of having a closer relationship with yourself (though that’s an incredible perk). It can also help you create the life you were born to live, in all senses of the word. Let this be the start of your introspection era, and watch your life change for the better!