Monthly Mindset Shift: Turning Embarrassment Into A Positive

Welcome to the sixth blog post in the series “Monthly Mindset Shift”! As the name indicates, this series has one new post per month and will continue for the next several months. Each post in the series details a positive mindset shift we can make surrounding a feeling or experience that generally has a negative connotation. (Spoiler alert: For this post, that experience is embarrassment!) These shifts aren’t designed to erase all of our difficult/unwanted emotions around the topic at hand. Rather, they simply serve to improve our general outlook on the matter, which can, in turn, improve our actions and our outcomes. They’re all the more proof that a healthier, more constructive mindset can change the game!

Have you ever been left red in the face after an “embarrassing” moment, whether big or small? It’s probably safe to say that we all have, at some point or another. The reason I put “embarrassing” in quotation marks, though, is because embarrassment is in the eye of the beholder. Something is only truly embarrassing if you allow it to be. Yes, certain things are widely associated with embarrassment, and it’s hard not to naturally feel embarrassed when they happen to you. However, just because you feel embarrassed doesn’t mean it is embarrassing. (This is a great example of the phenomenon that our feelings aren’t always facts). To tie in last month’s post for this series, Monthly Mindset Shift: The Power of Perception, the way you perceive an “embarrassing” moment (at least beyond the initial wave of feeling embarrassed) is how it will take form in your life…

So, for example, if you perceive making a mistake as super embarrassing, that’s what it’ll be. If you perceive it as a small bump in the road, that’s what it’ll be. Of course that doesn’t mean we can’t feel our feelings about it—in fact, we should. We’re more than allowed to feel upset and even defeated when things don’t go the way we hoped. At the end of the day, though, we don’t have to let these setbacks define us or blow out of proportion.

Not only can you turn your “embarrassments” into no big deal, but it’s possible to actually turn them into something positive. Let’s return to the example of making a mistake. Not only can that be a minor setback if that’s what you make it, but it can also serve to inspire anyone around you who’s in a similar boat. When they see that you’re not letting it keep you down for long, it might just help them feel better about their own similar situation. Mindset has a funny way of being contagious. The way you see something could directly affect the way that those around you see it.

That’s absolutely NOT to pressure you or shame you if you’re feeling down about your situation. To reiterate, you’re beyond entitled to feel all your valid feelings about it for as long as you need. That can include frustration, self-doubt, defeat, etc.. In fact, your resilience from these feelings might just contribute to how you inspire others. If you can slowly flip the switch in your mind from “this is so embarrassing” to “this is no big deal”, that might just spark others to flip that switch for themselves.

As much as we wish we could skip over the hard times in life, they happen for important reasons. One of the most easily overlooked ones, though, is that the insight we gain from them can be passed onto others. If you learn and grow from something, it wasn’t for nothing. Just as importantly, if you help someone else learn and grow by going through something, it wasn’t for nothing. You might not think of the way you handle your challenges as anything special. For someone else, though, it might be life-changing. You could give them the confidence to embrace the thing they’re most embarrassed about by embracing it yourself. How powerful is that?

All of that to say, we as humans are more influential than we could ever imagine. If you find yourself struggling to overcome embarrassment about something, I’ve got a question for you to ask yourself. “If the person I care about or admire most was going through this, would I think it’s embarrassing?”. Chances are, the answer is no! At the very least, I’m sure you wouldn’t want them to feel embarrassed by it for long. You’d probably reassure them that it can happen to the best of us and that it’s not the huge deal they think it is. So, why not extend that courtesy to yourself and thereby extend it to anyone else who happens to need it?

You may not currently know of someone in your position, but if you maintain a positive attitude about it to whoever you discuss it with, you’re likely to make someone feel better, even if you don’t realize it. That positive attitude doesn’t have to exclude vulnerability. As per my post, How to Create Balance in Your Mindset With These 5 Paradoxes, positivity and vulnerability can coexist. They’re actually the most powerful when they do! You can be honest about how a certain setback has impacted you, while still spreading messages of hope, resilience, and renewed confidence.

In certain situations, you don’t even have to talk about the “embarrassment” in question in order to inspire others. In fact, you not making a big to-do about it could be all the inspiration someone needs! You can lead by example simply by carrying on with your life. You never know who’s taking note of how you’re confidently going on dates with new people after being “rejected” by someone you liked. Or how you stumbled on a word while giving a speech but laughed it off and continued speaking.

To circle back to the beginning of this post, embarrassment is nothing more than a matter of perception. If you choose not to let something embarrass you (at least not in the long run), it won’t. On top of that, you might just help someone overcome their own embarrassment, whether you know it or not. If you’re struggling to shake off the feeling of embarrassment for your own sake, try to at least do it for someone else’s. You have more power than you know!