Welcome to the tenth blog post in the series “Monthly Mindset Shift”! As the name indicates, this series has one new post per month and will continue for the next several months. Each post in the series details a positive mindset shift we can make surrounding a feeling or experience that generally has a negative connotation. (Spoiler alert: For this post, that experience is pressure around time!) These shifts aren’t designed to erase all of our difficult/unwanted emotions around the topic at hand. Rather, they simply serve to improve our general outlook on the matter, which can, in turn, improve our actions and our outcomes. They’re all the more proof that a healthier, more constructive mindset can change the game!
Feel like you’re in a constant race against time? Whether you find that there’s not enough hours in the day or not enough years in your life, trying to squeeze in everything can be an overwhelming task, to say the least. You might put pressure on yourself—or receive it from other sources—to always be in go-mode. All of these feelings and experiences are only human and completely valid! At the same time, what if there’s a way to ease the pressure and have a healthier outlook on time management?
Innately, as humans, we want to experience as many beautiful parts of life as possible. We want to feel a sense of accomplishment in a professional setting. The freedom to treat ourselves to what we want because we have the means to do so. Hobbies and interests that make us happier and more well-rounded. Strong familial relationships that feel like home. Platonic friendships that make life brighter. Romantic love with the person we can happily create a beautiful life with. Confidence internally and externally. Health physically and mentally. Connection to a higher power. A true sense of purpose. The list goes on. All of this begs the question, how are we supposed to make the time for everything we want?
Where to begin…
My post 5 Tips for Living a Balanced Life gives some great advice for how to balance it all. But what I want to add here is that there’s so much value in slowing down to listen to your body and heart. Our minds often tell us what we “should” do. There’s a sense of obligation surrounding it, which overrides our intuition. We operate from an energy of anxiety and dread rather than an energy of excitement and hope.
That’s not to say that life doesn’t naturally come with a level of obligation. For instance, the average person has to work in order to support themself. It’s also not to say that we have to be excited about everything we do in life. Doing the dishes or paying bills doesn’t exactly scream exciting! However, if that feeling of obligation is hitting you at every angle, it might be time to evaluate where it’s coming from. If something that’s supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a chore, it’s probably not serving your greater good. If your job has become a dreadful place to report to everyday, or your relationship feels more like a burden than an asset, these are signs that something needs to change.
This concept in action…
A perfect example of obligation coming from the wrong place is seeing how others live their lives through social media. By comparing how much you socialize, travel, possess, earn, etc. to people on your timeline, you might feel obligated to step up your game even if you’d otherwise feel completely content with the way you’re doing it. Of course there are times when seeing someone else’s journey through social media can genuinely inspire you in a positive way. In these cases, it’s great to let them fuel you. Chances are, they ignited desires that were already within you and showed you that they’re possible.
However, if you feel needlessly inadequate rather than inspired, that might be a sign that it’s not something you need to be pursuing. At the very least, the comparison game shouldn’t be the reason why you pursue it. If it’s something you think you “should” want but don’t, I’m here to tell you to throw that “should” out the window. It’s completely okay not to have the same priorities as someone else, no matter who they may be! It doesn’t make one of you better than the other. As long as you’re aligning your priorities with what YOU want and need, and they’re aligning theirs with what THEY want and need, you’re both winning!
Other considerations / mindset shifts around time…
It’s also important to note that different seasons of life will fulfill us in different ways. You may not be crushing EVERY single goal on your list at a given time, but that’s okay. The goals that are currently taking a backseat will get the chance to step forward when the time is right. The goals that you’re currently pursuing the hardest should be the ones you feel most compelled to pursue. Key distinction here: feeling obligated vs. feeling compelled—two very different things. Obligation comes from pressure (internal and external), whereas feeling compelled comes from true desire and a sense of calling.
As pressed for time as we may sometimes feel, let’s challenge ourselves to develop an abundance mindset around time. Instead of focusing on how fast time flies, focus on the time you still have, starting right now, to do what you want to do. We always hear the expression, “life is short”. Of course that’s true on some level, as we shouldn’t take our time for granted, but simultaneously, it’s that very sentiment that often makes us feel pressured. There’s an implication behind it that we need to be making the most of every single moment, otherwise we’re doing it wrong.
In reality, you’re not wasting time whenever you’re not actively working toward one of the goals above. If all you do on a given day is rest, because your body needs it, that’s NOT time wasted. In fact, it’s time invested into your health, which will help you accomplish those goals. Worrying about wasting time, on the other hand, is ironically a waste of time! The sooner we recognize this, the better off we’ll be. Life might be short, but it’s long enough to do everything on our destined paths AND take time to rest.
The bottom line…
Instead of getting anxious about how to fill your time, try getting excited about it. Ask yourself what you want and need, as the answers will surely inform your decisions. If you’re struggling with time management, experiment by making broken-down schedules for yourself. It’s much easier to make time for everything you want when it’s all laid out in front of you.
Remember to give yourself grace if working toward x-number of things at once is just too much. You can always divide your goals into levels of current priority. There are the highest-priority goals that you’re taking substantial action toward regularly, the middle-priority goals that you’re taking small steps toward regularly, and the lowest-priority goals that you can act on occasionally and bump up when you have the space for them. Again, listen to your body and heart, as they’ll tell you what to prioritize!
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