Welcome to the nineteenth blog post in the series “Monthly Mindset Shift”! As the name indicates, this series has one new post per month and will continue for the next several months. Each post in the series details a positive mindset shift we can make surrounding a feeling or experience that generally has a negative connotation. (Spoiler alert: For this post, that experience is struggling with “what if”s!) These shifts aren’t designed to erase all of our difficult/unwanted emotions around the topic at hand. Rather, they simply serve to improve our general outlook on the matter, which can, in turn, improve our actions and our outcomes. They’re all the more proof that a healthier, more constructive mindset can change the game!
If you’ve been struggling with excessive worry or fear, in the form of constant “what if” scenarios, this blog post is for you. The tendency to let our thoughts spiral out of control sometimes is normal and human. However, when you’re looking to take back your power, there’s one simple shift you can make regarding those pesky “what if”s…
The mindset shift…
…Instead of asking yourself, “what if *x, y, & z* go wrong?”, ask yourself, “what if *x, y, & z* go right?”
Chances are, you’ve only been imagining the worst scenarios of what could happen. Because of this, there’s a whole world of possibilities you haven’t even considered. Possibilities that would awaken hope, excitement, and just as importantly, constructive action-taking.
The thing about negative “what if”s is that not only do they keep us fearful, but we become so stuck in that fear that it hinders our ability to move forward. We don’t want those “what if”s to materialize, so we don’t do anything, or on the opposite end of the spectrum, we try to exert more control than we actually have over the situation. Alternatively, positive “what if”s inspire us to pursue them with just the right kind—and amount—of energy.
This concept in action…
To compare examples of these two trains of thought, let’s say you find a job opportunity that interests you. If your default response is “what if they reject me?” or “what if I embarrass myself on the interview?”, you’re probably less likely to apply for the job. Even if you do apply, you might bring those thoughts into the interview, leading you to exude the wrong energy and make your fears come true. Of course, these certainly aren’t guaranteed outcomes. You can go into a situation terrified and still somehow manage to effectively fake it until you make it. But why should you have to?
How about a new default response… “what if I’m exactly what they’ve been looking for, and this job is exactly what I’ve been looking for?” “What if it turns out amazingly?” “What if, whatever happens, it ends up being a valuable learning experience for me?”
That last one is especially key. Maybe you avoid anticipating your ideal scenarios because you don’t want to get your hopes up. That’s completely understandable! But if you stay unattached to the specific outcome, trusting that things will work out for the best however they’re meant to, you’re bound to win regardless! You can still feel inspired, hopeful, and excited without attachment to a singular result. Plus, you’re much more likely to go for the opportunity when you know things will work out no matter what.
In an ideal scenario, you get the job, and it’s precisely what you hoped it would be. In a different—but still positive—scenario, you don’t get it, because it just wasn’t the right job for you. Maybe that’s because a better-suited opportunity awaits you. While you have every right to feel your feelings about not getting this job, may this perspective shift bring you comfort and even excitement!
The bottom line…
Ultimately, the point of flipping your “what if”s to the positive isn’t to set yourself up for disappointment. Rather, it’s to retrain your brain to consider the various ways that things can go well, including those you may have previously seen as failures. Also, hopefully it inspires you to take those healthy/strategic risks you’ve been putting off. After all, what if the outcome is something so unexpected yet more beautiful than you can imagine?!
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