Welcome to the second blog post in the series “Monthly Mindset Shift”! As the name indicates, this series will have one new post per month for the next several months. Each post in the series will detail a positive mindset shift we can make surrounding a feeling or experience that generally has a negative connotation. (Spoiler alert: For this post, that experience is worry!) These shifts aren’t designed to erase all of our difficult/unwanted emotions around the topic at hand. Rather, they simply serve to improve our general outlook on the matter, which can, in turn, improve our actions and our outcomes. They’re all the more proof that a healthier, more constructive mindset can change the game!
As humans, we have a natural tendency to worry about the future. More specifically, we worry about how well-equipped we’ll be to handle various challenges that aren’t of concern right now, but we sense or know will come our way in the future. We wonder, 5 years from now, how will we handle x, y, and z?
What we don’t account for, though, is the 5 years’ worth of experience and knowledge that we will have accumulated from now to then. While much of it will be in direct preparation for that thing, much of it will be passive. You’ll learn things throughout these years that you won’t even think about how you’ll put to use. Somehow, that accumulation of knowledge will elevate your readiness for the challenge you’ve been fearing. Your future challenges aren’t going to be handled by your current self but rather by the future “you” who is much more fit to handle them.
This concept in action…
In the best example of this phenomenon that comes to mind, it’s safe to say that the prospect of parenthood scares a lot of people who aren’t parents yet, even if it is something they want in the future. Someone in their late teens or early 20s who won’t become a parent for another 10-15 years may look at their own parents, as well as new parents, and wonder, “how in the world will I be able to pull that off someday?”. They see how much these parents have to juggle, remember, know, sacrifice, etc. In turn, they wonder how they, themself, will wake up one morning and be ready.
While they’ll likely never find themselves fully prepared or ready, these coming years will fill their toolboxes with an abundance of information, resources, and experiences. For some of these tools, it’ll be obvious from the jump that they’ll come in handy for becoming a parent. Some examples of this include babysitting their cousins, watching their relatives in “parent mode”, learning how to change a diaper, etc. For others, the person won’t make the connection that they’ll be useful for parenthood until they’re actually a parent. Maybe this person took a psychology class with no idea that they would eventually apply what they learned to parenthood. Maybe they went to therapy to work on themself without even realizing that it would make them a better parent when the time comes.
Whatever the case may be, by the time they have a child, they’re not going to be quite the same person as they are today. They’ll be the version of themself who is as ready as they’re meant to be for this huge life change. They won’t only be wiser but also mentally healthier, more mature, and all-around more well-equipped.
Another example…
The same phenomenon can apply to a new college student who worries about how they’ll do in their career someday. If their career path is notorious for being difficult, they might feel overwhelmed early on in their schooling. As valid as that feeling is, the next x-number of semesters/years are going to make them much more knowledgeable and prepared. That doesn’t mean that they won’t have a learning curve to endure once they start working. It just means that they won’t be starting their job at the same level they’re at today. Rather, they’ll be starting with a whole lot more education under their belt.
The bottom line…
Looking at future prospects, especially distant future prospects, through a lens of intense worry, while natural and understandable, is also neglecting to look at the big picture. You, as who you are today, aren’t going to receive challenges that you aren’t capable of handling. So, if you receive a challenge, trust and believe that you can and will handle it.
If you find yourself worrying about a future challenge, know that it won’t come your way until it’s your time to handle it. In the meantime, you can take steps to make yourself feel more prepared (without driving yourself crazy about it, of course). It’s the best way to take some power back. Be a sponge that soaks up lots of knowledge and insight, so that when the day comes to tackle this challenge, you’ll be as ready as you can be! You’ve got this!