If you’ve read my previous blog posts, How to Create Balance in These 5 Areas of Life and 5 Tips for Living a Balanced Life, you know that balance is one of my favorite topics to write about. (If you haven’t read them yet, check them out!). Those two blog posts focus on creating balance externally in your life. You might be surprised to find out, though, that it doesn’t stop there. We can create balance internally as well!
If you’ve been looking to improve your mindset in general but can’t quite pinpoint what it needs, the answer might just be balance. This is especially true if you’ve felt like something is missing from your mindset, whether it be optimism, vulnerability, confidence, etc. Whatever the case may be, the following 5 paradoxes are all about balancing the scales for a healthier all-around outlook!
1- Thinking logically doesn’t have to come at the cost of positivity.
A lot of times, positivity is associated with naivety and having your head in the clouds. However, in reality, logic and positivity can harmoniously coexist. Sometimes the correlation between the two is clear, whereas other times, you have to look deeper to find it.
A common general example of having to look deeper is when something in your life isn’t going according to plan. In situations like these, while logic will tell you that your plans won’t pan out, it will also tell you that it doesn’t mean your world is ending—not even close! It often just means that you now have new possibilities to explore, which can actually be incredibly exciting! Logic can surprisingly prevent you from feeling hopeless by reminding you of the very real reasons you have to feel hopeful. It’s just a matter of making the conscious choice to see the overlap between reality and positivity.
2- Positivity doesn’t equate to the absence of vulnerability / feeling your feelings.
In yet another paradox involving positivity, you don’t need to be happy all the time to be a positive person. In fact, someone who’s happy all the time may as well be a robot! It’s *more than* okay not to always be okay. By no means does it make you weak or negative. Contrarily, your ability to make it to the other side of a difficult time makes you stronger than you know. Your resilience and fighting spirit come from a place of wholeheartedly believing that better days await you—and that those better days are worth fighting for. Talk about the deepest form of positivity there is!
In the example from #1 about life not going according to plan, you have every right to feel sad, defeated, frustrated, etc. about this. As you allow yourself to feel your feelings, though, you can also aim to find peace and even potentially excitement (if applicable). Depending on the severity of the situation, it may take time to get to that point, which is completely valid. Be patient with yourself and the process.
3- You can strive for more in life while being grateful for all that you already have.
We’re often conditioned to think several steps ahead of where we are in life, which isn’t always healthy. Of course, having goals and dreams is a beautiful part of life. However, so is stopping to reflect on all the goals and dreams you’ve already accomplished, even those that seem smallest. In fact, your previous accomplishments serve as proof that you can and will continue to achieve great things!
If you’re unemployed or working a low-level job, you may think you don’t have success, when in reality, you just don’t have traditional career success at the moment. Surely you have success in other forms—whether it be in school, past work endeavors, projects, personal goals, etc. You can continue to act on your valid desire for a successful career, which will come more easily to attract when you’re already confident in your capabilities.
In terms of your personal life, all the strong relationships you already have can act as inspiration that you will attract more. If you’re single, you may think you don’t have love, when in reality, you just don’t have romantic love right now. Surely you have love in other forms—family, friends, hobbies, passion projects, etc. You can continue to act on your valid desire for a romantic relationship, which will come more easily to attract when you already love your life.
Ultimately, the goal is to strike a balance between two “A” words—aspiration and appreciation.
4- You can aim to better yourself while still loving yourself as you are.
Self-improvement isn’t about aiming for perfection, nor is it about dimming the qualities about you that make you who you are. It’s about identifying ways that you can grow and step into the best qualities that are already within you. Sometimes we realize that we have toxic traits that we could benefit from working toward eliminating. Sometimes we realize that we aren’t putting our best foot forward in a certain area of life. In any event, working on ourselves should come from a place of loving ourselves.
Also, if anyone has ever tried to change you (rather than tried to help you grow), you can probably attest that there’s a big difference between the two. Self-improvement should never come at the cost of authenticity, and the right people for you will accept you for you. Again, that doesn’t mean they can’t help you grow—all the better if they do! It just means that they won’t make you feel like you have to sacrifice core parts of yourself to do so.
5- You can go for what you want while accepting that what’s meant to be will be.
Since I already have an entire blog post about this, Which Philosophy Speaks the Truth?, I won’t go too in-depth here. (I highly recommend you check it out if you haven’t already!). But in a nutshell, both sentiments (“if you want it, go get it” and “if it’s meant to be, it will be”) are true. We just have to use them in conjunction with each other for them to be effective.
We can’t force what’s not meant for us, nor is it worth it to try. When pursuing a specific venture, ask yourself the simple question, “have I taken all the steps I can for now?”. If the answer is no, identify what more you can do, and go for it! If the answer is yes, all that’s left to do is wait and see. Of course it’s not an easy pill to swallow when something you wanted just wasn’t meant to be. However, that’s where trust comes into play. There’s so much peace of mind in trusting that it’s making way for something better.
The bottom line…
And there we have it—5 paradoxes that I challenge you to integrate into your mindset! Remember, as per the blog post, 5 Tips for Living a Balanced Life, balance isn’t an exact science. The goal isn’t 50/50, as there will be times when one side of the coin needs to take precedence over the other. As long as you don’t feel like one side is notably lacking in the long term, chances are, you’re doing just fine!
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