Even if you, like myself, are a firm believer that all of the events in our lives have purpose, you might still find yourself struggling to determine why certain things happened the way they did. More specifically, you might struggle to understand the purpose behind your life’s timeline, particularly if it didn’t go according to plan.
Think back to a time when life events didn’t happen in the order—or at the timeline—in which you expected or hoped for them to happen. This may be a tough question to answer if you haven’t given much thought to the role of sequencing in your life before. But here are a few examples that might spark you to come up with some of your own…
Examples…
Maybe you graduated high school never having been in a romantic relationship, which is an experience you would’ve liked to have had going into college. Maybe you went through a breakup before getting your career in order, even though you would’ve preferred to enter your new season of singleness feeling confident in your professional life. In a more significant example, maybe you became a parent before meeting the love of your life, when you would’ve loved for that person to be the biological parent of your children, but the timing just didn’t allow for that to happen. If any of these examples make you think of something similar in your life, past or present, look no further for some food for thought!
Potential purposes…
As hard as it may be to understand your timeline, I encourage you to look at these mysterious sequences with an open mind to the purposes behind them…
Perhaps Event A, which happened before Event B, had to happen first in order to provide you with the insight, strength, maturity, patience, etc. that was necessary to help you navigate Event B as successfully as you did. For instance, maybe your high school self wasn’t ready to handle being in a relationship, despite wanting to be ready, whereas your first year of college matured you enough to finally be in one. This waiting period may’ve saved you from a disastrous relationship that would’ve set you on a completely different course than the one you’re on now. Even if that college relationship isn’t meant to last forever, it was meant to happen when it did, for reasons that will hopefully become clearer one day.
Perhaps Event A had to happen first to motivate you to make Event B happen. For instance, a big life change like a breakup could’ve been enough motivation to elevate your career sooner. Without the breakup happening first, you may’ve stayed stuck in your career rut for longer than ideal.
Perhaps Event A enhanced how Event B would unfold. For instance, maybe the love of your life fell in love with you for who you became upon having a child. Maybe it was the maturity you attained from becoming a parent that allowed you to recognize that this person is the one for you.
The bottom line…
There’s no limit to the amount of specific reasons why your life events could be happening in the order that they are. However, a very broad reason, which encompasses all of the narrower reasons mentioned, is that one event can set you up for success in a subsequent event. Simply put, the first event had to happen first to make the second event successful, at least in the scope of what it was. (For instance, even if that college relationship didn’t succeed long-term, it succeeded in terms of the purpose it served). This likely won’t be evident immediately after the first event, nor will it necessarily be evident during the second event, but quite possibly down the line. Be patient with yourself and with your life’s larger plan.
In life, you may sometimes find yourself postponing Event A because you’d rather wait until Event B happens. Your reasoning is completely valid, and you can choose to contribute to your timeline however you’d like and can control. At the same time, circumstances outside of your control could easily decide that Event A has to happen before Event B, for reasons you may not understand at the time. Maybe you’re simply not meant to postpone something that’s going to contribute to your happiness any longer, just because you’re waiting for something to happen that’s somehow going to make that event “better” or “more complete”. (In reality, maybe it’s actually the other way around).
Whatever the case may be, instill your trust in the order in which things are happening. It may not make sense as it’s happening, but may you have faith that it will make more sense as time goes on.
Leave a Reply