Welcome to the twelfth blog post in the series “Monthly Mindset Shift”! As the name indicates, this series has one new post per month and will continue for the next several months. (It’s officially been a years’ worth!!). Each post in the series details a positive mindset shift we can make surrounding a feeling or experience that generally has a negative connotation. (Spoiler alert: For this post, that experience is the ending of a chapter!) These shifts aren’t designed to erase all of our difficult/unwanted emotions around the topic at hand. Rather, they simply serve to improve our general outlook on the matter, which can, in turn, improve our actions and our outcomes. They’re all the more proof that a healthier, more constructive mindset can change the game!
If you’ve been struggling in the aftermath of someone/something exiting your life, this blog post is for you. It’s especially for you if you knew deep down that this person/thing was no longer right for you (if it ever truly was). Whether it was that job that laid you off after years of underpaying you or that relationship with a partner who you just knew wasn’t your person, it’s okay to feel your feelings about that chapter ending, even if you fully understand that it needed to happen. Just because it had to happen doesn’t make it easy to go through. However, my hope today is to balance out your difficult feelings about this transition with some positive ones.
You’ve probably heard the expression “when one door closes, another one opens”. While it may be cliché, it couldn’t be more accurate. That’s not to say that as soon as something ends, something new will instantly begin. Sure, there are cases where this does happen, but ultimately, that new “door” or beginning doesn’t necessarily have to involve an immediate replacement. As for romantic relationships, that’s probably how it should be in most cases, since it’s best (for all parties involved) that you heal from the breakup before jumping into something new.
What that new “door” can mean, though, is that space has now been made for ALL kinds of amazing gifts. Ending a chapter that has run its course is essentially a form of decluttering. (For more on decluttering, including that of relationships, head to Decluttering Tips + 6 Things to Declutter in Your Spring Cleaning). It’s making room for so much beautiful newness to enter your life. This can include freed-up time, freed-up physical and/or digital space, and fresh energy.
Sometimes we underestimate how much is out there for us because we’ve been in the wrong place for too long. We might know deep down that someone or something isn’t right for us, yet we overstay far beyond coming to this realization. We naturally just assume it’s the best we’re going to get. But when that person or thing is no longer in the picture, we realize how far from true that is. Even if it takes us years to find who/what truly is best for us, those years will be spent getting closer to that person/thing slowly but surely.
The idea that you’ve now made space for something better-suited for you should not only bring you peace but excite you! Again, of course it’s normal and valid to feel upset about what you’ve lost. However, it’s worth it to look around at what you’ve gained. It may not look like much right now—in fact, it may just look like emptiness. It’s only a matter of time, though, before that emptiness becomes fuller and more whole than ever before. Without the ending of this chapter, you’d never know just how good it could get. You still may not know, but soon enough, you’ll find out. In the meantime, dare to leave that space open. Especially when it comes to relationships, the goal shouldn’t be to fill the space with whoever comes along. Rather, the goal should be to only fill it with someone who fits well into it.
With newly freed-up space comes endless possibilities. Let the beginning of this new chapter spark inspiration rather than discouragement. Even if the space stays empty for a while, that’s more than okay. Make the most of it while you can, and allow yourself to get excited about what’s to come!