Welcome back to my series, WOW From My Younger Self! If you’re new here, this series is based on the “WOW”, aka “words of wisdom”, I gave to the people in my life in my teenage years. There are aspects of my earlier WOW that I still stand by, so I thought, why not share them here with you?
This particular WOW comes from my 13-year-old self. 12 years ago to the day, a friend asked me to write her some general inspiring life advice. (I only know the exact date I wrote it thanks to my daily journaling!). In that advice, I compared life to an apple tree! Basically, I explained that we all have great days when we feel like we’re at the top of the apple tree, as well as bad days when we feel like we’re at the bottom. I wrote that our great days may not always sync up with our friends’ great days. There may be days when you feel like you’re at the top of the apple tree while your friend feels like they’re at the bottom, and vice versa.
While I look back at this analogy and laugh, I do think that there’s an important underlying message in it. That message is that everyone has their highs and lows in life. Some days, we may feel so much lower than those around us. The reality is, though, that bad days come, and bad days go. The tides can turn at any given time. Life is ever-changing, and the way we feel on a day-to-day basis is a great reflection of that.
Also, a simple reminder for when we find ourselves playing the comparison game is this: life isn’t a competition. The person you’re feeling envious of may be going through far greater challenges than a first glance in their direction would indicate. Just because they appear to be high on the “apple tree” of life doesn’t necessarily mean they are. Even if so, it certainly doesn’t mean they feel that way everyday. Regardless, focusing on your own feelings is tremendously healthier and more productive than enviously dwelling on someone else’s.
If the comparison game is becoming an ongoing problem in your life, my post Monthly Mindset Shift: How to Turn Envy Into Something Positive may offer you a helpful perspective. It’s natural to see what other people have, and want it for ourselves too. Instead of feeling down about it, though, we can let it inspire us to take action. The next time you catch yourself feeling envy, there’s a simple question you can ask yourself. “What steps can I take to bring me closer to having what I want?”. Then, go take those steps! No matter how high on the “apple tree” of life someone else may be, you can be too. Their spot at the top doesn’t take away yours—in fact, they’re completely unrelated!
Something else I wrote in this 12-years-old advice is that even though not everyday is good, there’s good in everyday. I went on to say that something like a yummy piece of candy or a smile from a good-looking stranger can brighten your day! Again, gotta love my teenage silliness (lol). However, once again, the underlying message has truth to it. Sometimes the good in a certain day or phase of life isn’t obvious. Sometimes you have to look deeper to find it. You never know when the time of your life you perceive as “bad” while it’s happening will bring you nostalgia later on. That’s because every chapter in your story holds some kind of value. That string of bad days may feel pointless, but if you look closely enough, you might find something worth remembering.
The apple tree analogy is also a lighthearted reminder that a bad day is just that—a bad day. It’s not the end of the world by any means. If you can identify why it was a bad day and how to make tomorrow a better one, you’re already ending that bad day on a better note. You can even rate the day on a scale of 1-10 and brainstorm ways to boost the next day’s rating. This doesn’t just apply to bad days, but bad phases, weeks, months, etc.
As silly as you may feel using this analogy, you might just find that it puts things into perspective for you. The feelings that resulted in a low day, or even low series of days, are temporary. The key is to take one day at a time and find the little things that can make you feel better. You’ve got this!